Welcome to my new blog! For my first blog post I thought I would share my own birthing stories as they really did influence the direction that my life took. I got pregnant with my first baby the minute I qualified as a midwife! Seriously!!! I had had my suspicions that I was pregnant but the tests kept coming back as negative. I had completed my Graduate Diploma of Midwifery and all I needed to do was send in the files I had compiled for my follow through women. I sent them and the next morning I did another pregnancy test and hey presto it was positive! I was over the moon! I was very ready!!
I set about finding a homebirth midwife and planning my homebirth. I loved the idea of homebirth from the stories I heard from my granny who had attended homebirths as a district midwife in the UK and remember her saying “They are made in the home so should be born in the home!” At that time where I was living there was a severe lack of homebirth midwives but I finally found one who has since retired. I liked her but it wasn’t quite the relationship I was looking for and she never really won my hubby over. This is not the space to discuss her though as since she is not getting a chance to voice her opinion a one-sided account of a midwife – client relationship is not fair.
My pregnancy went along well, even getting married and having a honeymoon in New Zealand and working full time as a midwife, let alone my new role as (step) mum to three older children who were then 5, 7 and 9yrs old.
I had a late ultrasound and found out my suspicions were true; my little peanut was breech! I had a long discussion with my midwife and I came away thinking she was confident to support a breech homebirth and that she was very experienced in this. Looking back I was extremely naïve to the stresses this would have put her under and I had complete and utter faith in the process. Due to this I also didn’t put much effort into encouraging the bub to turn, I had one uncomfortable acupuncture session resulting in him turning transverse but then flipping back to breech.
No sooner was I on maternity leave that I was admitted back to the maternity I worked in with pneumonia. I was pretty sick and I even had a moment of ringing a distressed hubby saying goodbye, he rang the midwives desk and they came to see me and I was apparently quite blue! This was at about 34 -35 weeks. Back home I took my time in getting ready for the birth as I assumed I would go over my dates. Bub continued to stay breech although I seemed to be the only one who believed this but I was OK with it. 37 weeks came and as the only driver at home I took my big girl to Girl Guides. When I came home I disappeared into my room to read a book, something I rarely did! With a big pop then gush I had soaked the bed and shocked I called down to my hubby, he came in saying “What have you broken now?” then when he saw the bed he panicked!!!
I let the midwife know and as a typical first time mum I got excited way too early. Tightening’s did start fairly soon after but were mild and I rocked my way through them. I tried to sleep for a while and from about 4am I was up and sat in the bath listening to music. Everyone else was asleep and it was very peaceful. I was too. In the morning things ramped up a little and my midwife came out to see me. She requested a VE and declared he was breech and we were to transfer to hospital. My world came crashing down. This felt like the opposite of what we had discussed and I knew the local hospital would not support me for a vaginal breech. But I obliged. I went in. The ultrasound found a frank breech, a little compact bub; I was prepped for theatre and found out later that I was 8cm before they cut. I did get skin to skin in recovery, which at the time was unheard of in that hospital.
Recovery post caesarean wasn’t great and 10 days later I was back in hospital again with endometritis. Seriously how many admissions did I need for this planned homebirth!!!
So there you go, my first experience of maternity care as a woman and new mum! Now with the benefit of hindsight I can see how naïve and trusting I was but it has shaped so many events that I don’t feel regret, anger or disappointment. I have worked through it in many ways including my next birth and by being a homebirth midwife. That role has taught me so much, especially how to loosen the stiff upper lip of my English nursing heritage and to become raw and emotional with women when they need it most. I am so grateful for the women that have put so much into our relationship and only hope that I have served them as well as they deserve. I also have a few amazing midwife friends who I know I can turn to for support, debriefing and to share a glass of wine or two!! Their words of wisdom and comfort have helped me appraise my reactions and care at times when I have doubted myself.
That is more than long enough for this post. For the next one I will share my next birth, the triumphant one!
